he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
