she looked like the before picture.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
