Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
