I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
