Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
