fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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