So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
