Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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