my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
