When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
