you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
