yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
