my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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