Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
