what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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