he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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