im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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