absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
