the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
