Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
