This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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