lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
