Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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