I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
