Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize