Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
