4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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