Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
