If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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