so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
