I can text with my tongue
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
