i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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