12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
