You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
