there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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