I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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