Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
