yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
