people are starting to question the shark bite story
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
