Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
