when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
