This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
