Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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