yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What a dumb baby whore.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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