Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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