i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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