I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
