it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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