ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
