I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
