Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
