u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
