I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
